


Try To Be Still Now

by alexenange



Series: Cover Your Ceiling In Nebulas [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Biting, Come Marking, Comfort Sex, Dom/sub, Face-Fucking, Grinding, I guess???? idfk, Light Dom/sub, Light Masochism, Light Sadism, M/M, Marking, Nightmares, Safe Sane and Consensual, Subdrop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-11 06:04:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10457082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexenange/pseuds/alexenange
Summary: ‘Kenjiro’ he mouthed into his shoulder. Semi breathed out slowly, his warm breath reflecting off Shirabu’s skin and hitting his own face for a brief moment. He kissed his boyfriend’s shoulders, his neck, the back of his jaw, everything he could reach easily, biting and sucking at every new spot and tracing the same word with his tongue, over and over and over again.Kenjiro.Kenjiro, Kenjiro, Kenjiro, Kenjiro--“Please,”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is porn, second chapter is plot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so short oml sry guys the next chapter will probably be longer (it'll be up soon dw I'm on break rn)

Semi never woke up screaming. His whole life had been tormented by nightmares he can only remember half of, but he has never woken up screaming. In fact. Semi doubts he’s ever even woke up with a start, or sat up quickly, or anything of the sort.

Some nights he’d wake up crying silent tears. This was one of them.

Semi didn’t know when he woke up exactly, but there was a moment in which he realized he was no longer inside a dream. Of course, while he was asleep he had no idea he wasn’t awake, but now there wasn’t a doubt in his mind where he was. The bedroom was dark, and almost silent, save for the sounds of breathing, and the whine of an air filter on the other side of the room. Glancing over his lover’s shoulder, Semi looked at the three bright dots coming from the filter.

Semi wasn’t crying, but he couldn’t stop himself from shaking. His arms were wrapped around Shirabu too tight, but his boyfriend was a heavy enough sleeper to ignore it. One of Semi’s hands clutched the thin fabric of Shirabu’s biker tank in a death grip, and he couldn’t bring himself to pry his fingers open. Semi couldn’t bring himself to do anything but stare at the form in front of him.

The bruises on Shirabu’s neck and shoulders were fading but the low light made them stand out against his skin like fresh tattoos in the shape of Semi’s mouth. Slowly Semi leaned forward to press his lips against the freshest mark on the back of Shirabu’s neck. Semi’s lips were cold and clammy, but his boyfriend’s skin was warm and comforting to the touch. Semi closed his eyes. He could feel the short hairs on the back of Shirabu’s neck stir ever so slightly with every breath Semi let out.

Unable to stop himself, or maybe just not wanting to, Semi breathed in the scent on Shirabu’s skin. He parted his lips and mouthed softly at the flesh in front of him, and sucked, just a little, at the bruise. Maybe it was Semi’s imagination, but he thought he felt his boyfriend shiver next to him.

_ ‘Kenjiro’ _ he mouthed into his shoulder. Semi breathed out slowly, his warm breath reflecting off Shirabu’s skin and hitting his own face for a brief moment. He kissed his boyfriend’s shoulders, his neck, the back of his jaw, everything he could reach easily, biting and sucking at every new spot and tracing the same word with his tongue, over and over and over again.

_ Kenjiro. _

_ Kenjiro, Kenjiro, Kenjiro, Kenjiro-- _

“Please,”

Semi paused for a second when he heard the whisper, unsure for a moment if it was real.

“Don’t stop,” Shirabu said again, still so quiet Semi almost thought it wasn’t said, then Shirabu reached back and grabbed the back of Semi’s head, fingers digging lightly into the scalp, and Semi kept sucking the spot on his shoulder. Shirabu sighed, and the fingers in Semi’s hair relaxed, just a little.

Shirabu wiggled back to press his back flush against the front of Semi’s body. Every centimeter of their bodies were touching now, their legs so tangled Semi couldn’t tell whose was whose, but he didn’t even want to find out. Shirabu was warm, so fucking warm, and every few seconds he would pant or let out a sharp gasp.

“You’re so sensitive.” Semi murmured. “So loud, so responsive…”

“S-shut up,” Shirabu’s voice was free of malice, or really anything but desperation. He bit back a whine as Semi ran his hands up under Shirabu’s shirt to feel his sides, to feel the goosebumps rising there, and hummed against the top of Shirabu’s spine. Semi’s nails were blunt but he pressed them firmly into the skin covering Shirabu’s ribs and Shirabu’s whole body shook with the moan Semi felt more than he heard.

“God, Kenjir--  _ Fuck, _ ” Semi cursed when Shirabu ground his ass against Semi’s cock, long and slow and perfect. Semi wrapped his leg around his boyfriend’s waist and pulled him closer. Shirabu felt Semi’s cock flush against the top of his ass and keened. He threw his head back and pushed his chest out, his body curving beautifully in the low light, his arms up by his head, holding onto the sheets like they were the only thing keeping him steady.

_ Fuck. _

Semi growled into Shirabu’s neck and pressed on his hip to get Shirabu to roll onto his stomach. Immediately Shirabu’s hands came up to grab the vertical bars on the headboard. His head was pointed down, breathing heavily, his mouth centimeters away from the pillow. Shirabu rocked his hips while Semi climbed on top of him and pinned him to the bed. His cock was pressed against the mattress and the pressure had him babbling out a string of incoherent curses.

Semi positioned himself on top of Shirabu and lowered himself onto his elbows, holding himself as still as he could. He watched Shirabu’s arms strain and flex, his knuckles white from how tightly he held the bars. Semi yanked down his own sweatpants, then at Shirabu’s whine, pulled down his booty shorts to his mid-thighs. Semi’s cock was hard and starting to leak. It was hot where it pressed against the cleft of Shirabu’s ass as Semi began to grind.

Shirabu shuddered silently and hard. Semi’s hand snaked around to toy with his nipple, to rub it in slow, infuriating circles, and quick bursts of wonderful pressure. His hips were pressed hard into the bed, his whole lower body was caged in by Semi’s strength. The way Shirabu was laying gave Semi the perfect access to rub his cock against Shirabu, and the promise of Semi’s cock so close to where he wanted it but so fucking far drove Shirabu into a frenzy. He bit at the pillow to stifle a scream when Semi bit his neck hard, so fucking hard, and so fucking good.

Shirabu knew he wouldn’t last long like this. Not with the pressure securing him in one place, forbidding him from moving, and the friction rubbing constantly at his cock, and the delicious strain in his arms from holding the bars, and the hand on his sensitive chest, and the mouth and teeth on his neck, marking him up and claiming him, and the wet pillow in his mouth, and the cock hard and hot and burning on his ass, and the sounds his Semi--  _ his, his, his-- _ made above him.

Shirabu yelled out when he came but he didn’t know it. Too overwhelmed with the pleasure to hear himself shout, Shirabu rocked back up against Semi vigorously and sensually, his hips rolling against the bed and the cock to milk everything out of himself. Shirabu’s eyes were shut so hard he saw stars painted on the backs of his lids. At the end of the orgasm he felt Semi follow, pressing him down harder than ever, so hard he could barely breathe and  _ god _ that felt good. Semi’s come covered Shirabu’s back and god if he hadn’t just come he would’ve then with the feeling of being so wrecked, so beautifully, wonderfully wrecked, without even getting fucked.

“Sh- it.” Shirabu whispered. “That was good.”

“Yeah,” Semi rolled off of him, then groaned. “Now we gotta clean this up.”

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't gonna have sex in the next chapter but I'm writing it now and it just sorta happened so more porn shit in the next chapter, I'll update tags when I post it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re a fucking idiot. You really think I’d what, hate you or something if you were vulnerable by me? Bitch I have seen you cry like a baby. I’ve made you cry like a baby, back in high school. I know you’re a weak little shit, you don’t have to hide that.”
> 
> “You’re an asshole.”
> 
> “It’s called tough love, Eita.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this is later than I wanted it to be, but I got stuck with the porn. I didn't even intend for there to be smut here but well it's here now. Something I'm not tagging is choking bc they don't actually do it but they do briefly talk about choking, so, yeah. This goes from serious to smut in like two seconds yikes sry

“So Eita,” Shirabu called as he folded the sheets that just got out of the wash. “When are you planning on telling me about that nightmare you had last night?”

Half a room over, Semi froze. Shirabu was still casually folding the sheets, not looking up, but the set of his jaw was firm and steadfast. Semi’s heart sped up and he wondered if it was actually getting hotter, or if he was imagining it.

Semi jumped and almost dropped his book when Shirabu looked at him. “I know you had one. No other reason you’d start fucking me like that in the middle of the night. You always get touchy when you’re scared. So,” his voice softened, “what was it?”

“I--” Semi cleared his throat and gripped his book tighter, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Is that because you think it’ll bring back memories and shit, or because you don’t want me to see you vulnerable?” Shirabu asked with an admonishing voice. After a second in which the only sound was Semi swallowing the growing lump in his throat, Shirabu sighed and went to sit next to his boyfriend. Semi put in a bookmark, resigned to the fact that Shirabu was too stubborn to let this go. God, what an asshole.

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Shirabu stated bluntly. “You really think I’d what, hate you or something if you were vulnerable by me? Bitch I have seen you cry like a baby. I’ve made you cry like a baby, back in high school. I know you’re a weak little shit, you don’t have to hide that.”

Semi tried to laugh, but it came out more like a strangled sob, and he fell onto Shirabu. His boyfriend expected this, and shifted to hold Semi in his arms. Semi had no tears to shed but for all intents and purposes he was crying. He hated it.

“You’re an asshole.” He managed to get out through shaky breaths.

“It’s called tough love, Eita.” Shirabu was calm and collected as he was so rarely, but still, there was no pity in his voice. There never was. He was the only one to never pity Semi, of the few who knew about the problems in his head. “I know you feel better talking about this shit, and I know you’re too fucking proud to admit it. So you don’t have to. Just talk to me.”

“Asshole.” Semi took a breath and calmed down enough to speak steadily. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you too. Don’t stall, jackass.”

“Fine.” Semi pushed himself back and turned Shirabu around so his back was pressed against Semi’s front, his body between Semi’s legs. Shirabu didn’t protest, knowing all too well how hard it was for Semi to look at people, or have people look at him when he spoke personally. Shirabu settled against his boyfriend and held his hand as he started to talk.

“I remember it so well. I always do though. I was in this big warehouse thing, with a bunch of people I didn’t know, but I felt I knew. Like I wasn’t me, I was a character, but these were the characters friends, you know?” Shirabu nodded, and Semi continued. “Everyone was happy. I was happy, whoever I was. Then something happened, and there were these zombies, I guess. I was the only one who got away.”

Shirabu squeezed Semi’s hand, but stayed silent.

“I made it to the suburbs near the warehouse we were in. I had no idea what was happening but when I got to the house I was looking for, you were there. Younger, though. I guess I was younger too. We were teenagers. Like how it was in Shiratorizawa. But not your actual house from then, it was some sort of western thing. But when I got into your house I thought it was safe, but you were, you--”

Semi broke off, his voice too rough and unsteady to form the words. His arms tightened almost painfully around Shirabu. Shirabu twisted to see Semi crying silently, wordlessly. Shirabu turned so their chests were together, Shirabu in Semi’s lap, every part of their bodies wrapped around each other, so close they could have been one person. Shirabu’s legs were tight around Semi’s waist and Semi’s arms covered Shirabu’s back and the shoulder of his shirt was wet with his boyfriend’s tears.

“Shh, shh, it’s alright Eita. I’m here, I’m here, you’re safe.” Out of every nightmare Shirabu has heard Semi have, none of them had been like this. None of them had been about Semi being unsafe. None of them had been about Shirabu being unsafe. It was always parents, and rejection, and failure, and not being good enough, and drowning, and burning, and losing what he’d worked for. But Semi never dreamed he was unsafe. Shirabu held him tight like a vice, and forced his breathing steady. Shirabu knew he couldn’t betray how uneasy he felt hearing that dream. Not when Semi needed him.

“I had to kill you, Kenjiro.” Semi finally whispered. Shirabu didn’t dare react-- he barely dared to breathe. “You weren’t human anymore you were one of those things and I had a gun, I don’t know where from, and I shot you. Twice. Right here,” Semi pulled back a couple centimeters, only enough to press two fingers against Shirabu’s stomach, about four centimeters under his rib, and half the length of his middle finger away from his belly button. After a second, Semi moved his fingers, and pressed them not far above Shirabu’s heart. “And here. I can remember all of it.”

Unsure of what else to do, Shirabu kissed Semi. He kissed him slow and sweet and gentle, like they almost never did anymore.

“It was a dream, Eita. I know that’s gotta be terrifying, but know that I won’t treat you any differently for it.”

“But I killed--”

“You didn’t. Shut the fuck up. You didn’t kill me, you killed a zombie, thing. I was already dead, wasn’t I? It wasn’t me. It wasn’t even real, it only happened in a dream. Nothing more.” Shirabu said, firmer and more sure than he thought he’d be. “So don’t look like that. Don’t look at me like you killed my dog or something. Sure it was bad and all, but you’ve probably done worse.”

“Hey!”

“I’m not wrong. You probably did some worse shit to me back in high school, to be honest.” Shirabu shrugged, a tiny smile on his lips. When he caught Semi’s eyes the other smiled too, small and hesitant and painfully insecure.

“Plus it’s way out of character. If you were gonna kill me you’d probably like choke me to death or something.”

Semi couldn’t resist a coy grin, “oh, I bet you’d like that though.”

Shirabu’s face heated up as he started to laugh in shock. “Oh my god-- um, well,”

“I mean hey, there are worse ways to go.”

“Don’t kinkshame me.” Shirabu murmured into Semi’s shoulder. Semi laughed so hard his sides ached. Shirabu laughed too, but tried his best to stifle it in Semi’s shoulder.

“W-wait, is that something you’d want to try?” Semi asked when he regained his breath. Shirabu rubbed the back of his neck and looked past Semi.

“I mean, I-- kinda? Maybe? Maybe. If you were ok with it you know. Well-- yeah, yes. Yeah.” Shirabu shifted in Semi’s lap as he spoke.

“Shit Kenjiro,” Semi lightly touched Shirabu’s neck, and the other breathed in sharply. Shirabu’s eyes were almost closed, and he bit his lip as Semi’s fingers ghosted over his pulse point and down the length of his throat.

“Guess we’ll have to try that sometime then.”

“Oh god, please,” Shirabu whimpered.

“Wow, you really like the idea, huh?” Semi trailed his hand down Shirabu’s side, down between his legs, but he never quite touched Shirabu’s hardening cock. “You want to be dominated completely. You want to be controlled.”

“Oh god,” Shirabu moaned at the thought. “You have no idea. I want you to control me Eita I want you to own me, I want to be tied up and fucked, oh god please, I want to be completely at your mercy, please, oh my god,”

“Fuck,” Semi growled. He reached to cup Shirabu’s ass, and his boyfriend’s hips jerked at the contact. Semi braced his legs on the ground and positioned Shirabu in his arms, then stood, taking them both out of the living room. Shirabu’s thighs squeezed Semi’s hips like he was trying to stay on one of the mechanical bulls they saw at a western show Tendou suggested. Semi pushed him up against a wall before they reached the bedroom, too impatient to kiss his boyfriend’s perfectly pliant lips. Shirabu put his hands in Semi’s hair and held on for dear life as they kissed desperately. Shirabu felt Semi’s cock begin to grow erect and press against his thighs and ass and Shirabu couldn’t help but moan and grind as best he could.

Semi pulled back off the wall and stepped into the room, then rested against the door to shut it and tapped Shirabu’s thighs so he’d put his legs on the ground. Shirabu’s knees felt weak and he shook and trembled. He waited patiently for a second as Semi caught his breath.

When Semi stepped forward he drew himself to his full height, and Shirabu whimpered almost inaudibly. Shirabu made himself smaller, emphasizing the height gap between them. Semi pulled Shirabu into him by the ass. Shirabu bent back a little when his pelvis fit partially between Semi’s legs but the rest of him didn’t, put he stayed still, his back arched like a cat, his stomach quivering with effort. Semi put his other hand in Shirabu’s hair and pulled, pulled, pulled, so Shirabu was bent almost in half. Shirabu moaned loudly at the thought of being so exposed, so painfully, beautifully open, and weakly held onto Semi’s shirt.

Semi stepped forward, his leg right between Shirabu’s thighs, pressing up against his cock. Shirabu took a second before catching on and stepping back, and the two walked slowly until Shirabu’s legs hit what he could only hope was the bed. He was completely at Semi’s mercy and had to put his full trust in his boyfriend and dom to not hurt him.

It was the bed, Shirabu found. Semi took his hand off Shirabu’s ass and let his sub struggle to keep himself upright for a second before pushing hard on Shirabu’s shoulder and shoving him onto the bed. Shirabu watched with wide, eager eyes as Semi licked his lips and straddled Shirabu’s chest. He didn’t put an ounce of weight on Shirabu but he didn’t need to to keep Shirabu still; he was too transfixed on the bulge under Semi’s plain gray sweatpants to care about moving, especially when Semi pulled his arms up over his head and pinned them above his head.

“I’m going to fuck your face, Kenjiro.” Semi said. Shirabu whined and his hips rolled up at nothing. “I’m going to fuck your mouth and pin your arms up and I won’t touch you.”

“Yes. Yes yes yes yes oh my god Eita please--” Shirabu whined, “please fuck me, fuck my mouth oh god, please.”

“Get on your knees. On the wall.” Semi climbed off Shirabu and watched him pull off his shirt and press his back to the wall and spread his knees wide, just the way Semi wanted him to.

“Good boy. Arms up.” Shirabu nodded as Semi instructed him. He put his arms up on the wall and watched as Semi slid out of his sweatpants and cotton shirt slowly. He almost whined when he saw Semi wasn’t wearing any underwear under his sweats, but he bit his bottom lip to silence the embarrassing moan. Naked and with the body of a teenage wet dream Shirabu’s dom walked to him and grabbed his arms, pulling him up just a bit more, enough so Shirabu’s thighs strained with the effort of supporting him and Shirabu’s face was level with Semi’s cock. Without being asked Shirabu knew to open his mouth and close his eyes.

It didn’t take long before Semi’s cock was in his mouth. Shirabu’s chest heaved, his nipples hard and sensitive to the air around him, his whole body electric with need. All he could taste was the salty, unmistakable taste of  _ boy  _ in his mouth, in his throat, spilling out of his lips. His nose was filled with the smell of skin and sex and his own precum. Shirabu squeezed his eyes tighter, tighter, tighter, incapable of processing more than the pleasure all around him. He barely heard Semi’s grunts and moans and the sounds of his skin on Shirabu’s face, but god, he felt everything.

He felt the fiery pain in his arms from being held up by them and the aching strain in his thighs from squatting so awkwardly. Shirabu felt his throat burn, and the subsequent ache in his lungs from irregular bursts of air. His jaw was raw and sore and he knew it would cramp and  _ god _ that felt good to know. His toes curled and his knees rubbed against the floor. Shirabu hoped they’d chafe, and he’d wear the proof of his position for a few days.

Shirabu imagined that his veins were filled with not blood but electricity; he could nearly feel it stretching through his capillaries and sparking up his spine, a chaotic and lively surge of sensation that reached every centimeter of his skin and every single part inside of him. Shirabu felt heat in his chest and in his stomach and in his muscles and in his bones. It burned endlessly and maddening inside of him but brilliant and raging on his outsides. Shirabu wondered if the electric fire started in his mouth and throat where Semi’s cock kept thrusting oh so beautifully in, or if it started in his wrists where they were held above his head so tightly Shirabu knew they’d bruise, or if maybe it started in his lungs, so stretched and pained with not a reliable enough air supply to fuel Shirabu’s body.

When Semi pulled out Shirabu barely noticed the absence in his mouth, but he felt the cool strings of come splash across his chest. Instead of calming the burning fire in him, Semi’s come was a marker, a  _ claim, _ and it worked like pouring water on a computer and soon Shirabu was coming too, his hips thrusting up at nothing, his body stretched and shaking, his face covered in saliva, tears, and come.

It had been so long since Shirabu had come untouched like that. As soon as the high ended he was flushed with humiliation at being so unbelievably turned on just by being used, by being fucked, not even in his ass, but in his mouth, and having himself so raw and open that Semi had no choice but be witness to every tiny wave of pleasure that Shirabu felt. He didn’t open his eyes when Semi let go of his hands, or when Shirabu collapsed down to sit on the floor, or even when Semi crouched in front of him and wiped away the mess on his face with gentle, loving thumbs.

“Are you ok?” Shirabu opened his eyes then. Semi seemed a little panicked, and he bit his lip as he watched Shirabu, and his concern was so endearing Shirabu had to smile.

“Mhm. Just, sensitive. Really sensitive.” He answered honestly. Semi relaxed, and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m gonna go get a washcloth to clean you, ok?” Shirabu nodded and let Semi get up and walk off to the bathroom. Shirabu’s eyes started to fall closed again, and when his boyfriend returned a moment later he lazily watched him through half shut eyes. Semi was gentle, wiping down his face and taking the time to rub Shirabu’s jaw and help the growing soreness. He then cleaned his come off Shirabu’s chest and pressed feather-light kisses on every centimeter of skin he cleaned. Then Semi stood and left to get Shirabu water and a painkiller for his jaw, and of course new shorts for him to wear. Shirabu was too tired to do anything but obediently follow Semi’s orders when he told him to open his mouth, take the pill, drink his water, and lift his hips so Semi could take off the soiled shorts and trade them for clean ones.

Once he was done cleaning off Shirabu, Semi pulled on his sweatpants and picked Shirabu up bridal style. It was hard on him, clearly, as there wasn’t that much of a size difference between them, but he only needed to carry Shirabu to the bed and set him down. Shirabu quickly wiggled under the covers where the sun shone through their curtain and held out his arms expectantly. Semi grinned down at his boyfriend and slid into the bed next to him. He pulled Shirabu into his arms and kissed the top of his head. Shirabu nuzzled his chest and quickly began to doze lightly.

Semi didn’t sleep, but held his boyfriend until it was time for them to get up and eat, watching Shirabu and wondering how they had managed to work out so beautifully. Semi really was lucky to end up with someone who knew him so well, not to mention matched his every whim and kept up with no problem.

“I love you, Kenjiro.” Semi said to Shirabu’s sleeping form.

Only half-hearing when Semi said, Shirabu smiled.


End file.
